Because I know Facebook never lies and we all know I'd addicted to Facebook and now even have instant updates as to what people are up to, the following must be true:

"[The Ex] has booked has booked himself a trip to Tahiti Bora-Bora Island!!!"

I was so insanely curious I googled the location straight away. I mean, I've heard of Tahiti and Bora-Bora but I never actually knew where it was. And now I know where it is. And my goodness, it looks like heaven on earth.

I'm actually rather pleased for the Ex. He needs a break as much as I do. I'd been telling him that he should book himself a relxing holiday and just get away for awhile and I'm glad he's doing this for himself.

"Our much much anticipated holiday in the land of fesyen, hot men, pizzas, hot men, pretty lakes, hot men. :D" -- Wiggly on our impending holiday in Milan.

 

I'm starting to wonder why I've never been to Italy before Wiggly pointed out that all the things that I love can be found there in one convenient locale! Surely nothing can beat shopping at high fashion stores (alright fine... window shopping then) then stopping for a pizza at a cute cafe next to a pretty lake while being surrounded by hot men. Or even hot men feeding me pizza by a pretty lake before taking me out shopping in the land of fashion. Heck, I'll even settle for a hot man wearing something fashionable eating pizza while showing me around a pretty lake. Sigh, the possibilities are endless (though now that I'm thinking about it, I quite like the second option I just came up with....)

 

Dammit! Only 58 days to go!! Yes. I am counting the days. You would be too if you knew of the possibilities.

 

In other completely unrelated news, I have crossed a line of geekdom which I never envisaged myself crossing. I have just downloaded Facebook onto my Blackberry! I'm so proud of myself :D Aside from the fact that I have joined the dark-side and sold my soul to the corporate hellhole that is The Firm who in turn have chained me to my work in the form of a small(ish) black device, I can now log on to Facebook anytime, anywhere!! Think of all the stalk-age time that would have otherwise been wasted while we are forced to be away from our computers during times such as when we commute or go to the bathroom. Now I'll always be up to date with what everyone's status update says and I'll always be the first to know if any incriminating photos have been posted. It will take my stalking of Z to an entirely freakish new level.

 

Lol, alright, I'm starting to scare myself somewhat. But at least my Blackberry will keep me occupied with something more interesting than just work emails, especially when emails from Z are usually much more exciting ;-)

I don't know what is up with me lately. I'm cranky and moody. I hate work and my roommate irritates me. I secretly wish my Boss will meet with a horrible accident that will prevent him from coming to work. I am angry with the Ex and want him leave me alone. I wish he would pull himself together and stop being so clingy. And to stop calling me at 3am.

I am tired.

I just received a confirmation letter from the Big Boss signalling that I am no longer on probation and am now more officially an employee of The Firm.

While others, such as Superman, are probably thrilled at this, this letter couldn't have come at a worse time. I presently hate my job. Well, ok, perhaps that statement is a bit strong. More accurately, I dislike my Boss. I realise that I am absolutely unmotivated at work and I dread seeing him. I question why I've chosen this career path and am seriously considering my options so as to get out of it. People have said that its just a rough patch and everyone suffers through their first year. But I look around me and feel like everyone else is adjusting just fine and don't drag their feet the way I do. Everyone else seems so much more enthusiastic and motivated. Perhaps I just have a poor work attitude.

Nevertheless. I can't believe I've been at the Firm as an Associate for 3 months already. I can't believe I've been a lawyer for 3 months. I wonder how much longer I'll last.

I spent close to three hours yesterday photocopying and binding cases. Three! I didn't need 5 years of legal training for this! @#$%!!

But on a happier note, I've finally booked myself a holiday to London!! Wheee!! :D

Breaking up is truly awful. I really hope I never have to do this again. In the continued obsession with our stuff, I returned all the gifts and things that he'd given me over the span of our relationship as per his request. That included my bracelet, my iPod, his football jersey that I used to wear to bed, the little bears that sat in my car... almost everything I could think of. I held on to one or two items because I still wanted to remember our relationship. I told him in a note that I didn't want any of my things back. If there was anything he didn't want anymore, he could just throw it all away.

I had also been avoiding all of his calls. It really hadn't been easy. Every time that phone buzzed I would stare at it, silently apologising for not answering until the buzzing stopped. Until this morning that is. And now I wish I had just not answered that one too. He asked me why I was doing this to him and why I had been avoiding his calls. He asked me why I had left him again and this time I just spat it out. I'd met someone who possessed certain qualities that he just never would. Qualities that I thought I could live without but after having seen them on someone else, realised that I did want those things. He had obviously not been expecting me to say that.

So he officially hates me now. I just kept silent and let him jump to the conclusions that I was a lying, cheating whore. There was no use in defending myself when he wasn't prepared to listen. He told me that he regretted our entire relationship and that it had been a complete waste of his time. I couldn't help but think of all of those times when I told him that I was afraid to leave him because I knew he would think I had been leading him on and he had assured me that he wouldn't think that. And yet here we were.

I do not regret our relationship. I regret how I acted towards him as we neared the end of our relationship. And I regret that it took me meeting someone else to give me that push to let go of him. But I do not regret having spent all those months with him. As I've always said with at the end of everyone of my previous relationships, I am thankful for the learning experience. I learnt what it was like to be in a loving relationship. I learned what I was like as a girlfriend. I had my best friend by my side all the time. And I also learned that I want someone who has the same background as me and that there are people like that out there.

Since then I've had to put up with the hurtful words being flung my way. But I suppose I deserve them in a way. I had been a bitch afterall. But he just wasn't the one. I can't help how I feel and I can't force myself to love someone I just don't feel for. Perhaps in time I'll kick myself for letting go of someone so good. But as P said, I have to let go until I know whats true. And the only way to find out is to get out there and let life happen.

Still, knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make breaking up and being hated any easier.

Things we do at The Firm: play random "word games" via the internal email network. Following a conversation this afternoon at lunch about me checking out another woman's ample chest, the game began. The challenge: to use the word of the day 3 times in an email to a random 3rd party recipient. Can you figure out what the word is?

D1's email to D2:

D2,
I was shown your sms by C about the ample abuse that is heaped on you.
Let me take this opportunity to tell you i sympathise and am sorry for your predicament. As C said, among us, you are probably one of the most hard working ple around as you devote a large and ample amount of your time to your work and your craft and the abuse is uncalled for.
Take ample strength in the knowledge that you are well regarded by your peers.
Take care bro.

My email to M:

Dear M,
I cannot amply express how helpful you have been on this matter to me, especially since I did not have a secretary at the time. Your ample effort in overseeing siti as she put together the bundles as well as your help when I had to make an application for extension of time will always be appreciated. I can only hope that sab will have ample opportunity to work with you and to learn how our team handles liti matters.

The Girl

N's email to D2:

Dear D2,
I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you how much I appreciate the ample help you've given me over the past 8 months. Your ample guidance has been invaluable, especially during the first few months when I was still trying to find my feet.
I sincerely hope we won't lose you like how we're losing D1.
Take heart in the fact that we have ample regard for you and your abilities, and I hope you keep your spirits up.

N.

And finally C's email to Superman (and arguably the most subtle of the lot!):

Yo bro
Just giving you a run down of what happened at the PTC today.
Customs Prosecutor, Gurmit Singh, asked for a further 4 week adjournment. As instructed, I didn't object or even make a face. The next PTC date is on 10 September 2008, 9am.
This should provide ample time for the customs officials get back to us. I was told by Gurmit Singh that the file had been passed to the AGC and that he was briefed by the IO that they should get a reply from the US by then. At least it's a sign that things are moving in the right direction.
I told the clients this and they reiterated the need for a definitive answer to be reached. The fact that the AGC had taken the file seemed to leave them amply satisfied but I did remind them that just because we were expecting a response from the AGC didn't mean that the response would be good.
Gurmit Singh said that he would get someone from the AGC to contact us (meaning you). If you don't hear anything from them soon, you might want to chase them somewhat.

C.

p.s. I am pleased to inform you that there is now an ample supply of chocolate in my room. Feel free to come by.

If nothing else, I think this takes procrastination to a whole different level.

I have to admit, as much as I moan and groan about work, there's something about wearing a black suit and a string of pearls, paired with some pointed stilettos, that makes me feel incredibly powerful. I feel like I can walk into any room and make people cower at my feet.

Well, perhaps with the exception of the Judge who I'm probably cowering before.

But still. This morning as I walked into the courtroom, I could feel my confidence oozing out of my body and into the surrounding area. I felt young, hot and professional. With my shoulders squared, I went in to see the Judge, pleaded my case and lost but still walked out feeling like a million bucks.

I must admit, there are days when this whole Law Business doesn't seem so bad. Being the only girl on my team also means I seem to end up with the random female clients that the men don't want to handle. Like today for instance, I had a client come to see me about a fairly small matter. Her ex-boyfriend and her still co-habited and she wanted him out while she got to keep the place (Anyone seen the Break-up with Jenn Aniston? That was the first thing to pop into my head). Although the matter was small enough to be dealt with over the phone, she insisted on coming in to see me. The Boss wouldn't have touched the case with a ten-foot pole so he threw me into the deep-end and told me to advise her.

So off I went. I walked into a room that reeked of expensive perfume to find an incredibly attractive woman sitting before me. She was dressed to the nines (complete with a frou frou looking hat!) in a low-cut black dress and perfect make-up and I couldn't help but check out her fantastic cleavage. I mean, the woman was hot! The boys had no idea what they were missing when they dumped this one on me.

I listened to her for half an hour as she ranted about her Ex and her house, nodding empathetically as she spoke. She wanted to know what her legal rights were. I hadn't a clue. Frankly the whole thing just sounded like a nasty couple squabble, certainly nothing to get lawyers involved for. So I told her to change her phone number and change the locks and not to bother litigating. Then I sent her a bill for the "consultation".

This is Adrian Tan's convocation speech to NTU's (singapore)
graduating class of 2008. He wrote The Teenage Textbook and is a
litigator for Drew & Napier in Singapore.

Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee
School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your
convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to
speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation
or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She
is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has
honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by
practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day
telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being
disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That
is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one
who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when
you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already
be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be
married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be
married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end
of education. You're done learning.

You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong
process" and that therefore you will continue studying and taking
masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know
the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there
is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of
learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to
be repeat customers.

The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your
entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of
you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that
you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life
expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean
the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about
a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as
the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind
Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why
people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing
in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little
danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching
us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into
a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live
to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than
five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time
they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another
40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're
50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their
convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet
their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever
want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working,
falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as
graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your
hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be
an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living
your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have
nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them.
And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore
to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not
entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does
not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over
it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment
by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your
life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as
tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever
be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you
will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from
here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many
wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it
is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from
overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it
can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day,
bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's
nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet
people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are "making a
living". No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their
fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless
and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a
certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei"
was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps.
Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate
so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in
modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you
enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it
for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will
have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy
it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in
some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably
a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine
you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will
have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go
further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able
to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know
what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and
feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an
obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you
don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To
those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not
asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is
dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great
capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you
are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even
conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or
equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the
truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to
appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That
requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the
mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and
that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be
hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet
every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been
hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred
is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused,
murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case
that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's
own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be
accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate
towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your
role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are
not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure
sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say "be loved". That requires too much compromise. If one
changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by
anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for
me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without
deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken
a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It
far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise.
Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance.
It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning,
attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call
happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves
in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We
celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important
to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't
happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It
grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It
is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is
less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the
heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not
reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to
inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to
loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your
body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It
consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.

In a country as tiny as Singapore, to own a car and to drive it around everyday is a fairly big deal. It certainly isn't cheap either and the rising petrol prices are deterring even more people from driving. (well, except me obviously. I seem rather content to pay through my ass for my car and be broke for everything else.)

Nevertheless, in a country as tiny as Singapore, you'd think that driving around would be a fairly painless activity. Afterall, it takes all of two hours or so to get from one end of the island to the other by train. So driving the relatively short distance from my office to the Boyfriend's house should really only take me about 30mins, 40 at most if one factors in peak hour traffic and all those other folks clamouring to get home after a grueling day at work.

Except that it took me nearly 2 hours to get to his house yesterday evening!!! TWO! I even rerouted my journey to get off the overly congested highway and it still took that long as even the alternative routes were jammed. It was the most frustrating journey I've ever endured and I was one grumpy woman by the time I got to his house. It wasn't even raining nor was there any mention of there being an accident on the roads. The jam was simply puzzling.

But seriously, I thought the recent ERP hikes were supposed to cure this sort of thing. Admittedly I'm not exactly helping the jam by insisting on driving myself but I know many a Singaporean has given up the luxury of driving in favour of cheaper alternatives. So why on earth were so many of us battling the ridiculous traffic?! Perhaps there are a lot more people like me on the road than I realised.

For the past month I've had Ivan the Intern shadowing my every move and doing the crappy bits of research I just couldn't be bothered to do. And today, on his last day he gave me a box of chocolates to say 'thanks' for making his experience at The Firm a good one. I must say I was rather touched by the gesture :)

In other news, for the first time in my life, my account has gone into five digits. More specifically, those five digits were earned entirely through my late nights and slavery at the Firm. And I thought I'd never allow myself to be bought but I must say, knowing that I have that much money in my account is somewhat exhilirating.