Something happened yesterday between the Boyfriend and I (ha ha, aside from the fact that I'm still referring to him as the Boyfriend I suppose :-p). I went to see him because he had witnessed something really horrific earlier that day and I couldn't help but to reach out to him. But in the process, we started talking about us and where things had gone wrong and realised that we could pinpoint it to a particular event in our relationship: it was when the Muppet came to visit.
Now, I know I can't blame him for everything, even though I would like to. But I do know that his arrival was the catalyst for the downward turn that our relationship took. He disrupted the happy little world that the Boyfriend and I created for ourselves. And while we must all live in reality, we really were quite happy with each other when we weren't having to consider life's big questions about marriage and religion and children. We were just happy hanging out with each other. After all, ours was just a fledgling relationship of about 6 months and it was really much to soon to be deciding on such key issues when neither of us was really ready to do so.
Nevertheless, I'm not quite sure where we stand now. All I know is that my pretty bracelet was clasped back onto my wrist at some point. We are going to see each other a little less and spend a bit more time with ourselves and our friends. Perhaps as A2 had said, things can get claustrophobic when one spends too much time when someone.
I dragged the Boyfriend along with me while I went to get a haircut and of all the people in the world, I ran into the Boss at the hair salon! It was bizarre indeed seeing him there with his young son. I knew the moment he saw the Boyfriend and I together he would ask questions later (indeed, he had told me to take time off when we had broken up) and later when he was sat on the bench next to mine as we got our hair shampooed he mentioned that it was good to see us together again. I just smiled. It felt good to be with him again.
Perhaps I'm just not ready to let go of him. Perhaps I'm not even supposed to. Perhaps when I am supposed to, I'll be ready to do so.
Now, I know I can't blame him for everything, even though I would like to. But I do know that his arrival was the catalyst for the downward turn that our relationship took. He disrupted the happy little world that the Boyfriend and I created for ourselves. And while we must all live in reality, we really were quite happy with each other when we weren't having to consider life's big questions about marriage and religion and children. We were just happy hanging out with each other. After all, ours was just a fledgling relationship of about 6 months and it was really much to soon to be deciding on such key issues when neither of us was really ready to do so.
Nevertheless, I'm not quite sure where we stand now. All I know is that my pretty bracelet was clasped back onto my wrist at some point. We are going to see each other a little less and spend a bit more time with ourselves and our friends. Perhaps as A2 had said, things can get claustrophobic when one spends too much time when someone.
I dragged the Boyfriend along with me while I went to get a haircut and of all the people in the world, I ran into the Boss at the hair salon! It was bizarre indeed seeing him there with his young son. I knew the moment he saw the Boyfriend and I together he would ask questions later (indeed, he had told me to take time off when we had broken up) and later when he was sat on the bench next to mine as we got our hair shampooed he mentioned that it was good to see us together again. I just smiled. It felt good to be with him again.
Perhaps I'm just not ready to let go of him. Perhaps I'm not even supposed to. Perhaps when I am supposed to, I'll be ready to do so.
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