I've ended things. Or more specifically, he could just feel that something was up and called me on it and I just admitted that he was right. I feel like a horrible person. Why can't I just be happy knowing that I have a gorgeous man by my side who loves me so much that he would do anything for me? What's wrong with me? Why can't I feel the same?

I can't put my finger on it. There's something intangible that I just know isn't there. I wish things made more sense. All I know is that I feel trapped. I feel pressured to be here. I am so scared to hurt him.

He is my best friend and the nicest boyfriend I've ever had. I doubt I'll ever find someone who will love me the same way. But I know that he deserves better and will find better. He deserves more than a girl who can't make up her mind as to whether this is what she wants or if this is who she wants to be with. A girl who's caught between making herself happy right now and making the right choice for her life.

I know with time, I'll be ok. And I know a fabulous guy like him, with time, will be ok too.

With time, everything will be ok.