Blogs are not private.
I should have learnt this lesson a long time ago. Once upon a time, I was a very prolific blogger. I used to write posts nearly everyday, about the the random little occurances in my life, about things that made me laugh and things that drove me mad. And then one day someone read something they didn't like and started giving me grief. I stopped blogging for a few months.
Sometime later, I really missed my random posts, so I started again. This time I eliminated all names and as many traces to real life as I possibly could while still writing about my random occurances. And for a time that worked for me. I wasn't as regular about updating as before but I still blogged often enough.
And then I got stupid and showed my blog to someone I had romantic ties with. I showed it to him because I had wanted to show him how strongly I'd felt for him. But he started reading the previous posts as well to trace back how long I'd liked him only to discover that in the beginning, he was one of a couple of guys I had a crush on. That blew up in my face. He said very many nasty things about the realness of my feelings for him.
So I stopped blogging again. And when I tried to pick it up again, I found it really hard. My posts became few and far between and I wasn't as motivated to write anymore. A part of me wonders if the coincidence of starting work around the same time I stopped blogging has been a reason. I barely have time for myself anymore so blogging would naturally shift down the list of priorities.
I decided to take another stab at it. This time I moved to a brand new service provider, change the name of my blog completely and only told one other person about it. I never mentioned any names, not even my own and I've even stopped blogging when I'm upset, for fear that I'll write something in a flurry of emotions that will later come back to bite me in the ass. And yet, once again, I've been found, my inner most thoughts are under scrutiny again and my words being thrown at me.
I know its my own fault. I know that posting things on the internet for the public at large means that there is a chance that someone will stumble upon it. More so than that, writing about personal experiences will inevitably get you hurt unless you control your readership. But my ego wouldn't let me make the blog private for my friends only. There was a time on my old blog when I had random readers from around the world and had even made friends with one or two of them. A part of me secretly hoped to acheive that once again with my new blog.
I should have learnt my lesson by now. I can feel myself slipping into another hiatus, as much as I want to fight it this time and tell myself that my blog shouldn't march to someone else's tune. Whats the use anymore?
I should have learnt this lesson a long time ago. Once upon a time, I was a very prolific blogger. I used to write posts nearly everyday, about the the random little occurances in my life, about things that made me laugh and things that drove me mad. And then one day someone read something they didn't like and started giving me grief. I stopped blogging for a few months.
Sometime later, I really missed my random posts, so I started again. This time I eliminated all names and as many traces to real life as I possibly could while still writing about my random occurances. And for a time that worked for me. I wasn't as regular about updating as before but I still blogged often enough.
And then I got stupid and showed my blog to someone I had romantic ties with. I showed it to him because I had wanted to show him how strongly I'd felt for him. But he started reading the previous posts as well to trace back how long I'd liked him only to discover that in the beginning, he was one of a couple of guys I had a crush on. That blew up in my face. He said very many nasty things about the realness of my feelings for him.
So I stopped blogging again. And when I tried to pick it up again, I found it really hard. My posts became few and far between and I wasn't as motivated to write anymore. A part of me wonders if the coincidence of starting work around the same time I stopped blogging has been a reason. I barely have time for myself anymore so blogging would naturally shift down the list of priorities.
I decided to take another stab at it. This time I moved to a brand new service provider, change the name of my blog completely and only told one other person about it. I never mentioned any names, not even my own and I've even stopped blogging when I'm upset, for fear that I'll write something in a flurry of emotions that will later come back to bite me in the ass. And yet, once again, I've been found, my inner most thoughts are under scrutiny again and my words being thrown at me.
I know its my own fault. I know that posting things on the internet for the public at large means that there is a chance that someone will stumble upon it. More so than that, writing about personal experiences will inevitably get you hurt unless you control your readership. But my ego wouldn't let me make the blog private for my friends only. There was a time on my old blog when I had random readers from around the world and had even made friends with one or two of them. A part of me secretly hoped to acheive that once again with my new blog.
I should have learnt my lesson by now. I can feel myself slipping into another hiatus, as much as I want to fight it this time and tell myself that my blog shouldn't march to someone else's tune. Whats the use anymore?
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