So I am sitting at my laptop, working away on that affidavit I'm supposed to get out by tomorrow when a little MSN window pops up declaring that RS is online. Don't ask why he's still on my MSN list, I'm honestly not sure and I certainly don't speak to him anymore.

But of its own accord, my mind suddenly remembers that tonight is the one year anniversary of our first "date". Ok, so it wasn't officially a date but it definitely was the start of the drama between us.

I remembered how we went to a really great Indian restaurant (which I sadly never went back to) and then had a drink or two before sitting down at the bay where we watched the lights flicker over the water for hours and hours as we talked about life and love and everything else in between. I remember how I got into trouble for coming so late and how I had glowed for days afterward.

I can't believe its already been a year since that night when I first felt myself falling for him. Things had started out so well and yet turned so ugly in a matter of months. We don't talk anymore but every so often, I still do wonder if he's OK.

Up until now, I had been thinking of bringing the Boyfriend there this Wednesday when he asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I had wanted to bring him to that same place where RS and I spent hours sitting on the ledge. But I don't think I ever will. As much as I want to replace the bad memories I have of certain places with new good ones, this is one place that will always belong to RS.